


will you tell the truth so i don't have to lie?

by hermess



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, also nessa and sonia are dating I just didn't explicitly tag it, may have accidentally abandoned this whoops lmao, maybe i'll finish it someday, obligatory leon loses and isn't okay fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermess/pseuds/hermess
Summary: Leon loses against the Chairman, he loses against Eternatus, he loses against Gloria. It all comes too fast too soon and he suddenly doesn't know what he's supposed to do now. What can he do when he loses himself?
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	will you tell the truth so i don't have to lie?

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows. This isn't beta read so I apologize for any errors! This is also loosely related to my other fic Defective, but you don't have to read it to understand (but you totally should)

It starts off like any of Leon's matches. His presence alone has the crowd roaring at unnatural levels, tension thrumming through the air. He commands the stadium like he owns it. It's entertainment at its finest. Everyone's wondering who'll win. Will Leon remain unbeatable? Will Gloria be victorious? The whole stadium wants to know who will win in a match for the history books.

Then, everything goes to shit.

The screen changes from the pitch and the Chairman is showing the world what he's done. Red light explodes in the stadium and all across the region. The excitement turns to fear in a split second and, as always, Leon's the first to jump to action. He runs straight into the heart of danger.

Raihan didn't have the luxury of being on the pitch. He has to fight his way through the crowds before he has enough room to call Flygon out. The flight to Hammerlocke feels like the longest in his life. He knows that's where everything is happening. He knows that's exactly where Leon is going to be. He needs to be there, he needs to make sure Leon doesn't do anything stupid.

When he finally gets there, everything is wrong. All he sees is chaos and all he hears is screams. His priorities change and he can only hope Leon waits before he does anything stupid. He just needs to help his city.

He sees Hop and Gloria running to the power plant. He tries to stop them. They're just kids. They shouldn't be getting into this, but he sees Hop's expression and realizes he just wants to help his big brother. He knows exactly what Hop feels. So, he lets them go. Maybe they could do some good until Raihan could get up there too.

It takes too long to evacuate the city. His panic only increases when he sees a glowing red something flying above the castle. He can hear the roar from the streets below, sees the entire castle shake with the force of it. All he can do is run faster. 

It's just his luck that whatever is up there caused the power to fail. The doors to the power plant won't open. Raihan is stuck. He's useless. He can't help. He can't get to Leon, can't make sure he's okay. He wants to scream. 

So he does. He kicks and he pounds on the door and he screams Leon's name like it'll make a difference. He thinks at some point he starts crying. He sounds hysterical. He probably is. His throat burns and his voice cracks but he doesn't stop. He doesn't care that people can see him, doesn't care that their relationship is supposed to remain private. He just wants Leon to be here. To be okay.

He barely notices the arms that grab around his waist and pull him back. He doesn't listen to the voice telling him to calm down. He does see that the doors have been blown open. He sees the body that they've brought down from the roof on a stretcher. He sees Leon, so terribly pale and still.

He wants to run to him, wants to make sure he's alive. The arms around him only get tighter when he tries to break out of them. He realizes that it's Milo holding him back, that it's Nessa trying to comfort him. The other gym leaders are there too. He feels the presence of so many others around him, but they don't matter. He thinks of how pitiful it must seem, to be surrounded by so many souls, and still be crying out for the comfort of one.

•

Leon wakes up to the smell of disinfectant and the sound of a steady beeping. He opens his eyes and for a second, he's utterly confused. Then, the memories of yesterday flood back. 

Oh.

He pieces things together a bit. He looks down and sees Raihan's head resting on his thigh, his hand tangled in Leon's. The sight makes him smile a bit. He pokes Raihan with his other hand and his head flies up. His eyes are red rimmed and glossy like he'd been crying. He looks around confusedly for a second before his gaze rests on Leon. A smile breaks out on his face and he tears up.

"Hey," Leon says, like it's just another normal day. Like he's not lying in a hospital bed covered in bandages.

Raihan squeezes his hand and says, "You're okay." It's almost a question, so Leon gives an answer.

"Yeah, I'm okay. You can't get rid of me that easily."

Raihan laughs lightly and Leon smiles again.

•

Raihan had thought he was insane for wanting the match to be today. He'd said three days was too soon, but Leon had somehow convinced him and everyone else that he was in good enough shape to battle.

He'd told everyone he was just eager to finish his match between Gloria, but that was only half of it. Some part of him needed to prove that he was still strong. He was the champion. He was supposed to help when everything went to pot, and when it did he had failed. He needed to get back out there. He had to show everyone he was still capable.

He's a bit harsh when talking to Gloria before their match begins, but he just chalks it up to the adrenaline in his veins. She doesn't seem to care too much about what he said anyways. She's just as eager to get the match started. He only sees fire and determination in her eyes. 

Best not to keep anyone waiting any longer, he thinks. He tears the cape off his shoulders and their match begins.

•

Raihan knew Gloria was going to win. He'd never say it out loud, let alone to Leon, but the second she had walked into his gym he knew what would happen. She was a force to be reckoned with even before catching the hellbeast the Chairman let loose. He was supposed to be the second best trainer in the region. He was the reason so many challengers didn't make it through the gym challenge. Yet, she came right in and thoroughly wiped the floor with him without breaking a sweat.

At first he had thought maybe, just maybe, it had been a fluke. Maybe it was just a one-time event, but in the finals she swept his team once again. Duraludon had been knocked out before he even finished dynamaxing. He knew then that she would win. He loved Leon and knew he was powerful, but this kid was on a level far above anyone else.

Sure enough, Raihan was proved right. Gloria utterly destroyed Leon. For a moment, Leon's champion persona fell. Most wouldn't notice. They were too caught up in the events that unfolded, too focused on Gloria. Raihan noticed. His eyes were on Leon the whole time, they always have been. He saw the moment something changed in him, how he tilted his snapback down to hide himself. He saw the grimace. He saw the way his shoulders shook. And then it was gone. Champion Leon was back, congratulating Gloria for a wonderful match and saying goodbye as the title transferred to the young girl he had endorsed not too long ago.

•

There's a party after the match. It's always been a tradition. Leon didn't want to go. He'd rather have gone anywhere else, but he supposes that would have been unsportsmanlike of him to ditch the championship party just because he lost. Plenty of others lose all the time. People would say he's just being petty after losing to a kid.

He goes to the party. It starts off alright enough. Raihan hovers near him, he says he's just worried about the still-healing wounds he has. They stick in a corner near the bar with Nessa and Sonia. It's all good and well in their corner, until it's not. Others start to approach him and they all ask too many questions that Leon isn't in the mood for. 

What are you going to do now, Leon? 

How do you feel about the loss, Leon?

It's a shame about the Chairman isn't it, Leon?

He's never been much of a drinker, but that night he thinks he understands those who are. He starts off with a few drinks. Those few turn into a few more and maybe he drinks too much. Maybe he snaps at Raihan even when he's just trying to help. Maybe he says things he shouldn't.

Raihan has to escort him out of the party. He's sure he knows what tomorrow's headline will be already, he thinks as Raihan drags him into a flying taxi.

"Ex-Champion Leon: Drunken Mess at Championship Party"

He just can't wait to read that one.

The taxi ride is deafeningly quiet. Raihan tried to talk to him, but he ignores him. He pretends the scenery outside the window is far more interesting. Raihan gives up a few minutes later, and if Leon is relieved, he doesn't say it.

They touch down in Hammerlocke outside of their flat. Raihan has to help him out of the taxi and through their door. Leon definitely feels a little more out of it than he had earlier. Raihan leaves him alone for a moment to go pay for the ride, and it all suddenly feels suffocating. He feels too still and he has too many thoughts all vying for attention. He wants everything to stop and go faster at the same time. He wants a distraction.

Raihan barely shuts the front door when Leon grabs his neck. He starts kissing him like he needs it to live. It's rough and it's needy and it's more than he should be doing. His hands wander around Raihan's chest and back. They tug at his hair and cup his face. He feels Raihan's hands hover in the air behind him. He's kissing back, but it's unsure. Leon pulls back.

"Is this okay?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper and his breath hot and heavy on Raihan's cheek.

Raihan moves away from him. He doesn't return Leon's gaze, his throat working like he doesn't know what to say or do.

"No."

It should come as a surprise, but it doesn't.

"Not… not like this, Lee. You're not okay. I won't be your distraction." Raihan speaks softly. It's as if he doesn't want to offend Leon.

If he was sober, he'd understand why Raihan said no. He'd move past it and let him know it's okay to say no, but he's not sober. He's far from it. Instead, he hates Raihan. He hates that he can see right through him. He hates that he's too nice to let Leon destroy himself.

"Fine," he spits out. He heads upstairs and goes straight to bed. He stays curled up tight on his side of the bed and doesn't react when Raihan lays down on his a little while later. The small part of him that's still rational knows he's cruel for taking out his frustrations on Raihan. He'd never deserve this. The rest of him doesn't care. He's still going to hate himself in the morning no matter what would have happened tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are highly appreciated so please do if you enjoyed!!


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